Forever Means Forever

I blame romantic comedies for planting the idea that finding your wonderful and perfect soulmate is as easy as reaching for the same loaf of bread at the grocery store, locking eyes from across a crowded room, or unwittingly falling for your dastardly yet handsome work adversary.

These stories aren’t unheard of as ways to meet potential prospects in the real world. But if finding THE one were as simple and straightforward as these romanticized chance meetings, I’d be out of business.

1. Forever Means Forever

Lovebirds embarking on an exhilarating new relationship don’t always fully grasp what “forever” really means. Forever means sticking together through everything life throws at you, from the big (like having kids, losing loved ones, cross-country moves) to the small (aging, gaining weight, illnesses, those really, really bad days).

Your world might be peachy keen six months in, but being able to project how your relationship will withstand more serious hurdles that will come your way in 10, 30, or even 60 years requires developing a deep sense of your mate’s character… AND what qualities you’ll need in your relationship both now and later to be fulfilled and happy. You get only one life, and you should spend it with someone who not only supports you through those hard times but will inspire you to live it as the best version of yourself.

2. You Deserve It

Couples who rush to the altar often do so because they feel like they’re running out of time or they don’t think they can land anyone better than the one they’ve got at the moment. We can all agree that sharing a life with someone you love makes every experience richer, but what good is a marriage if the person you’re with doesn’t fully appreciate or bring out the best in you?

No matter what your past relationships have ingrained in you, you deserve a lasting and uplifting love and shouldn’t settle until you find it. There are loads of sweet talkers out there who can put on a pretty good show for a while, so it’s worth investing the time, effort, and thought to determine if it’s the “real deal.”

How to Start a Conversation With a Girl Online

42% of female online daters have been contacted by someone in a way that made them feel uncomfortable, and if you ask us, that’s one too many.

If you want to avoid being Creepy McCreeperson, here are 11 good ways (tested by science!) to start a conversation with a girl online.

1. Be Self-Deprecating and Honest

OkCupid strikes again. Their research shows men who use words like “sorry”, “apologize”, and “awkward” in their messages have more success.

If you aren’t a wordsmith or Will Ferrell, just say so instead of trying to force it. It shows that you’re humble.

While it’s hard to guarantee that all of these tips will work 100% of the time, they’re definitely a good place to start.

2. Ask a Question

A call to action is the best thing you can do to get a response from a girl online. If fact, an article on the Soulmates blog said your chances will increase tenfold.

If you don’t end on a question, or ask at least one question during your entire message, why would she take the energy to reply? Statements don’t evoke conversation.

3. Talk About Your Common Interests

According to OkCupid, if you have something in common with a girl you’re interested and don’t bring that up when you reach out to her online, then you’ve wasted a huge opportunity.

Talking about similar interests can prompt a quick response from her as well as get her to let her guard down and be more trusting of your intentions, especially if it’s something not a lot of people have an interest in.

4. Compliment Her (But Not Her Appearance)

Women like being complimented when it’s done correctly, so don’t go for the obvious “you’re hot/sexy/cute/beautiful/gorgeous”. Instead, OkCupid recommends using general complimentary words like “cool”, “awesome”, or “fascinating”.

5. Mirror Her Personality

Studies shows that people like people who are similar to them.

Use what you’ve learned from her profile to determine what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.

If she’s funny, use a funny opener. If she’s straightforward, just be straightforward. If she’s philosophical, try your best to be philosophical as well. If she’s a nerdy hipster, you could give the example to the right a shot. You get the idea.

6. Mention Something Specific From Her Profile

We’ve all heard it before, but I’ll say it again: if you send the same message to every girl, you won’t get a response. Period.

To avoid doing this, look over her profile, find something that makes her stand out, and bring that up in your message.

That same OkCupid study discovered that “favorite movies”, “vegetarian”, and even “zombie” are some of the most effective words to use, and the best phrases to use with these words are “you mention”, “good taste”, and “noticed that”.

7. Catch Her Off Guard With a Joke

This is the hardest one to pull off, but it can work if you do it right. According to The Date Report, if you make a woman laugh, most of the hard work is done for you.

Arouse her curiosity by starting a joke and not finishing the punchline. She’ll be prompted to do it for you, or she’ll just be confused as hell and come back with “What?” which is always better than complete silence.

8. Reference the Movie “Frozen”

Yes, we said “Frozen”, the Disney movie that swept the world off its feet.

Match.com‘s 2014 Year in Review report revealed that 5,500+ users said “Frozen” was their favorite movie that year, by far beating out hundreds of other titles.

9. “Ur”, “Luv”, “Wat”: Forget Netspeak

We’re all busy people with busy schedules, which means phone calls are almost becoming obsolete and we use fewer and fewer words to get our point across.

However, that doesn’t mean what works for colleagues or siblings is what works in dating.

Listen to Okcupid — the way you text a friend should not be the way you text or message a woman you’re interested in.

“Ur realy hot. R U free Fri?” won’t work! The only exceptions to this rule are “haha” and “lol”.

And remember, proper punctuation is sexy and shows her that you’re at least somewhat literate.

10. “Hi”, “Hey”, or “Hello”: The Kiss of Death

If you want to be the most boring, unoriginal person who has ever reached out to this woman, then simply say “Hi, how are you?” While it may seem like a polite thing to ask, she isn’t the pizza delivery guy — she’s someone you have romantic feelings for.

OkCupid did some great research and found something as simple as “What’s up?” can be a better option.

11. Keep Your Subject Line and Message Short

The subject line of your email or message is probably the most important part of starting a conversation with a girl online. If this doesn’t peak her interest, she most likely won’t read any further.

A study by Sidekick says the perfect subject line is unique to the recipient and contains 30 characters or less, just to name a few suggestions.

Same goes for the entire message in general — keep it short! OkCupid says 200 characters is the ideal length.

You also might want to read our article on successful dating profile headlines, which can encourage women to reach out to you first!

Making Contact: How to Play It Cool without Cooling It Off

Open communication is one of the most integral parts of a relationship, but in the early stages it can also be the most cumbersome. How many times have you been thrilled about the prospect of a new love interest before quickly getting caught up in fretting over when to text, when not to text,or when he last texted before—you even figure out what to say?

Everything from movies and TV shows to our own mothers have made us feel as though we have to play hard to get for as long as possible. But that nagging voice in the back of your head that “one little text won’t hurt” still sometimes wins out, making the mature choice not such an obvious one. That casual coolness you hope to create at all costs known as “the game” should be stuff of the past, but there’s still that crucial factor that exists early on in helping to determine whether this new relationship is something to invest your time and heart in.

To help you know when to drop a line without desperation, here are three simple guidelines to follow:

1. Give Him Room to Initiate

The first couple months or so into a relationship are so crucial when it comes to communication because it allows you to filter out the guys who are just looking for something physical from those who want to pursue something deeper. If you’re bombarding him with messages every which way, not only are you taking away his opportunity to work for your affection, but you may even be presenting him the opportunity to break your heart on a silver platter. Unless he’s fallen off the face of the earth (literally), a guy who is into you won’t leave room for any doubt about his feelings. On the flip side, someone who will only make half-hearted plans after you’ve consistently nudged them is likely struggling with something deeper.

2. Reach Out When It’s Relevant

Sending a cute text or making plans with someone you’ve just started seeing is by no means forbidden, but it should be considered carefully. When you get the urge to reach out, take a beat and think about why you want to make contact. If he’s initiated the past couple dates, and you found out your mutual favorite band is coming to town, there’s nothing wrong with suggesting you check it out together. Or if he’d been worried about a big presentation at work and you’re genuinely wondering how it went, a short and sweet check-in note will show you care. But if you’re looking for that quick rush of validation from getting any response whatsoever from him, it’s time to play the waiting game.

Trust Your Gut

As with most issues of the heart, you can never go wrong with trusting your gut. The real challenge lies in knowing how to interpret what your gut is telling you, and that starts with having a solid idea about the things you require in a relationship to feel fulfilled, happy and loved. Someone who is making you feel insecure by his lack of communication, especially in the earliest and most carefree part of the relationship, is the sneakiest kind of red flag. You may feel reckless for cutting ties with someone over texting, but somewhere out there is someone who will never leave a shred of doubt.

The Hard Task of Finding a Girl to Date

Dating can sometimes be daunting, even for men. Finding someone to date can be like a brain surgery for them too when they are but mechanics. Men get puzzled about how to navigate the dating scene and find a girl that he would like. Now once he finds that girl, sometimes there’s more to it. He can get all tongue tied and scared.

Media and generation and generations of social influence has often dictated to men what sort of woman to look for. But there is not a single cookie cutter woman that would fit into every man’s needs. Being good at keeping a house and having birthing hips are no longer the standards anymore. Face value is still given importance but some men just abhor women who are beautiful. So let us decode the journey of a man and why he finds it hard to find a girl to date.

1. Smart or Beautiful?

Men often ask themselves this question time and time again. Most men would not admit it but they still long for a pretty face that their friends would be envious of. It is part of their DNA, a healthy and pretty woman would signal a healthy and beautiful offspring. Men sometimes would really, really like a girl but if she is too plain or not pretty at all he may look the other way. Men are afraid to be jeered at during beer chugging sessions with their friends. It may sound superficial but really it’s not. They do go through sleepless nights wondering if the girl that is not so pretty would be great to date.

Men would also want someone who is smart. Smart girls are cool. Someone who can bit them at DOTA or Gran Turismo is freaking awesome for them. A girl who can talk business with them is pretty amazing. They long for women who are not airheads and don’t just talk about shopping all the time. Men appreciate women who have sense in them. But the problem is most men would say that most smart women are not pretty and most pretty women are not smart.

2. High Expectations

Men who got pampered by their loving mothers want women who are perfect no less. Their mothers and people around them always expected them to get the best girl. It does not matter if he was a short, fat, pimple faced teenager or a hot guy some men just were programmed to look for a complete package. This is one of the top causes they find it difficult to find a girl to date. I mean really dating her and not just for booty calls.

Men who are like this feel that women should be driven, have a nice career, look perfect all the time and also has a ton of knowledge in her head. Their moms would mostly tell them when they were young what to look for in a girl. He does not have to be a mama’s boy to be like this. Some men become like this because of the sheer influence of media. Media show how women should look like. Having smooth clear skin, beautiful hair as shown on shampoo commercials and can cook a blast due to all those food with mommy ads.

Not all men are like this. Most are sane and normal and would take into consideration that women are humans and not Barbie Dolls But media has its way of winding everyone’s brain to at least look for a certain trait that is high or hard to get. He may not be looking for all but he will be looking for something. There is nothing wrong with having standards, however if you have really high ones you may end up with a girl you don’t really like.

3. Beautiful Women Can be Intimidating

Oh yes you heard that right, women can intimidate men. Beautiful women can seem daunting and scary for them. Some men seem to hate beautiful women, but in truth they do like these women but they are scared of them. Men feel scared because normally beautiful women would only like handsome men or so most people think. Beautiful women are not all like that but they do have standards. They are not beautiful with zero effort, they look as such because they have invested time and money to look good for themselves and for others.

Beautiful girls are humans too. They do enjoy the company of people who make them feel at ease or pick their curiosity. They can date a guy who may not be super hot or rich just because they find them stimulating to talk to. Contrary to belief, not all pretty girls are brainless air heads who do nothing but shop. A lot of them are caring, kind and driven. Having the courage to talk to one may go a long way.

Do not belittle yourself just because you don’t have a six-pack abs or you don’t drive a Porsche. On the other hand don’t be over confident that you’ll get a hot chick just because you look like Adonis or have a bank account that can buy her a closet full of shoes. Women are all the same in the core, they want a caring and honest man; others may just like theirs looking nice and tidy.

4. You Have No Time

Dating needs time. Most girls don’t want to be treated like a doormat or a booty call. Some men spend tons of hours at work so that they can have lots of money to be able to afford a “cool” lifestyle. Women do care about how stable you are but they are mostly not after your money. They find men who have substance more interesting.

If you are totally busy, you can try finding a little time to meet her for coffee or lunch. You can eat lunch together. Try finding a date in your immediate zone since this takes too much busyness out of the picture. If she is your colleague it would be very easy to see her. A simple good morning call or text could help. But in the long run, you have to invest time on important things. Women need to be shown that you care about them too.

5. So Why is it Hard to Find a Girl to Date?

Actually dating does not need to be too difficult now a days. There are so many ways to find the girl you can mesh with. You can go on dating sites like Tinder, Match.com or other sites to find a girl. You can date someone from work. The reason why finding a date becomes difficult is because sometimes you are just too shy or have low self-esteem or put too much premium on a girl you want to go out with. Learning to manage your expectations can help you find the right girl. Girls are less complicated than you think. Anything you want in life needs time and effort. If you want to be successful in dating, you must put an effort on that

The Best Benefits of Finding a Girl to Date

Everybody wants to find love. You may not want to admit it but whoever you are or whatever you are you would always want love in some form or another. Men are no different. Men even though they seem all macho and tough would also want to find a piece of heaven in this cruel world. They also feel lovey dovey as well. They do get goose bumps when a girl they like shows them interest. And yes, it might be you, the man reading the article wanting to find what are the benefits of finding a girl you can hang out with (or you might be the girl he is looking for and you are curious). So let us now talk about the BEST benefits of finding a girl to date.

1. No More Cold Lonely Nights

Well isn’t it obvious, it is sometimes nice to lay in bed and hog down all the covers in a cold winter, spring, autumn (or whatever the season is) night and have the bed to yourself. But sharing the bed with a nice cute, sexy, lovely, intelligent girl is way better. I mean who does not want to have someone to snuggle with then the snow is falling outside? And don’t get me started with sex here. I mean sex on a cold night is awesome; nothing gets your blood all fired up than an amazing sack session.

I don’t mean sharing a bed as in living in but you know the time that instead of you counting the spider webs in the ceiling on a Saturday night, you would now be spending it romping in bed. And at some point if you do find yourself moving in with someone, then you can now play tag of war on who gets more of the blanket.

2. Having an Excuse to Watch Those Cheesy Flicks

Well a lot men would still not admit that they do enjoy watching those sappy movies. There is nothing wrong with watching those tear jerking romance flicks, in fact I love them. On the other hand, men have this macho image at times that they do want to protect. Romantic movies are not just for girls but men would often rather watch action or sci-fi movies. So having a girl to watch those will relieve you the worry of how to tell your buddies that you have watched the last Twilight movie and not be jeered at in your next drinking session. Let’s face it, romantic movies make you feel good. They make you happy and they do help fight stress; that is why we girls just love it. But if you’re a man and you just want to watch it alone, go ahead; the society is never in charge of your happiness.

3. Someone (Who Smells Good) That You Can Hang Out With

Yeah, hanging out with your buddies is load of fun. You get to play some hoops or some rowdy football. You can chug down beer and be merry all night long. You can even do gross things with one another. But hanging out with a girl does wonders for you. I mean you now notice that she does not give off that man smell that your chums have. She may be all out feminine and dress in dainty frills or she may be one of the boys and be like cool with playing with your Xbox but a girl is a girl. More often than not, they do care about being clean and would normally take a shower before hanging out with a boy. They know the importance of deodorants too (ROFL). I’m not saying that all your buddies are slobs and that they don’t take a bath, but sometimes it is nice and refreshing to spend time with someone from the opposite sex. It makes you see things from a different perspective.

4. A Caring Female Figure in Your Life (Aside From Your Mom)

Moms are simply the best. They are loving, caring and strong women who raise us to become better people. They are the women who give us love, support, can wipe away our tears, cure a boo-boo with a kiss, make us the best shepherd’s pie and also discipline us when we misbehave. But sometimes men look for those tender loving traits without the discipline part. Having a girl to date just brings that into the plate. She can make your day just by a mere text message asking you if you have had breakfast or sometimes she can even come over and bring you some. She can make you feel more confident about yourself when you are feeling down at work. She can be totally and insanely be sexy and yet she still can be that super angelic face that can make you go to bed with a smile. Having a woman in your life to date or to live with just makes things lovelier for you. Plus points if she can cook too (if not you can always order takeout).

5. A Great Girl to Date

A girl to date is someone who gets you. She is someone who understands you for who you are no matter what. She is someone who makes you smile and laugh. She is the girl whose text messages just makes your day. She is not clingy or boring. She is an independent woman who has her own life but still would like to share it with you. Finding that girl may be difficult, but if you do never ever let her go. A great girl to date is just one of a kind.

On the other hand don’t be a chauvinistic sexist pig as well and think that you are God’s gift to women. Don’t overrate yourself, but also don’t put yourself down. Dating is a two way street, both of you must meet somewhere in the middle. There would be many good times but there would also be difficult and challenging times that you just want to ditch one another. But if you think that this girl you are dating is worth staying with even with all her idiosyncrasies then by all means do. There is no perfect girl out there, there is but a girl who is like the other piece of shoe in the pair that would complete your life.